Sunday, August 30, 2009

dear advertising wizards responsible for the following:

"hump" is not a sexy word. take whatever the opposite of sexy is, multiply it by denim chafe and misguided animal instinct (these two are not mutually exclusive), divide that by seriously, and that more nearly approximates the semantic force of the word.

do you think this is sexy, overpaid creative geniuses?

let me answer that for you. no. you don't. you, like the rest of us, thought this was hilarious your senior year of college and, even then, you only found it hysterical because of all the milwaukee's best and by that time you were well out of your dry-humping-your-girlfriend-of-two-weeks-on-a-polyester-fold-out-couch days.

i'm making a lot of assumptions here, i realize; first, that the cw asked brainiac and fingeronthepulse, inc. to create a "sexy" poster for their upcoming terrible and televised crapfest - which was horrible the first time around - and if that could include a subversive double-entendre (french for sexy wordplay), even better! $$$! sexy!

assuming my assumptions are correct - and let's be for real, they are - i'm going to need someone to toss me in a pile of money and let me fart out brilliance that gets hollywood alchemy-ed into more dollars or i swear to the god of shitty garbage i am fucking done with television.

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