Tuesday, September 15, 2009

ideas and plans, some good, some terrible

disclaimer: dubious claims and outrageous assumptions may follow.

26 will be my year of fiscal responsibility.

in the waning days of 25 - what a strange and fucking wonderful year it turned out after all - i will therefore hemorrhage cashmonies to usher in my new dawn with (old) style, (wizard) strength, and a return (or first ever trip) to my animal nature (i.e., wisconsin). it will be the end of an era.

an era in which the last seven dollars and change bought cigarettes instead of ramen and the cheap booze leftover from several parties ago inhabiting the dusty corner of the pantry looked like a perfectly decent friday night. in which with two weeks to go until the next paycheck, things like tents, kegs, fine cheeses from around the world, avocados, and a new positively audacious fedora are the most reasonable purchases one could possibly make.

no more.

i will contribute responsibly to my retirement account and use my savings account to actually save.
i will change my oil in a timely manner.
i will floss and find a dentist with whom i can establish a long and friendly rapport under whose skilled hands and wise cracks my teeth will never falter and never fear.
i will buy my own sleeping bag and hang up my clean laundry immediately. i will iron my shirts.
i will not buy dvds like "high tension" just because i can't stand to not know what happens despite knowing i will spend the majority of the movie face buried in blanket.
i will not upstage the Music TeleVision Video Music Award Best Female Music Video of the Year Award Winner simply because i happen to be of a different opinion. hilarious or no, i suppose this is a dick move.
i will remove my eye makeup every saturday night before going to bed.
i will call my parents more than once a week and do as my mother says when she says less booze more oranges and ladylike power naps.

26 year old kristin will be nothing short of Good At Life.

25 year old kristin will go ahead and do all of this until then though:

just you try to stop me from throwing my popcorn everywhere

click here but only if you want to know how i really am

but with a lot less terror and slightly less nausea, and more fire, beer, and hot dogs on sticks. not like corndogs, but like, ballpark franks, jammed haphazardly onto tree sticks. also go-karts.

donna summer - hot stuff. many times over. you cannot fight this.

there will be brisket, there will be laughter, there will be an amusing convergence of friends from all histories and social spheres, a venn diagram of lovely in my living room. and i take no responsibility for anything that occurs in the intersection of 25 and a birthday party and irons in the fire and donna summer and tents and fudge and wisconsin, at least not for another few days.


A Concerned Citizen said...

um. when you iron your shirts, can you start unplugging the iron? even if this is your way of rebelling against future you?

kristin said...

not quite yet around that bend.