Thursday, October 22, 2009

october 2k9 fingers' choice awards!


the october 2k9 fingers' choice awards
celebrating the best in internet mishapping since some arbitrary point in time when we decided talking on the internet was way better than on the phone.

we are now accepting nominations for the month's or year's or really any of the best typos, freudian slips, and syntactic cluster fucks ever committed to the interwebpages, including but most certainly not limited to: 
  • the google chats
  • facebook machines
  • the tumblr blogs 
  • some netscape messengers (what? crazy!)
really, we'll accept anything written anywhere on the internet where you can fire through the fingers and muck it up with no recourse to salvation because once they are in the tubes, they are in the tubes forever.

feel free to nominate yourself because honestly, we already know that - like the rest us of here on the nets - you're your own worst critic and biggest fan.  so don't be shy - let me know how exactly you've completely effed up some electronic communication for the inadvertent amusement of the whole world (wide web), that special someone you chat up on your perpetual lunch hour, or even just yourself really.  

some early submissions include: 
klooky: who the f knows what i'm doing. i certainly don't. i [do truly ridiculous and awkward things that i will not talk about in this space in lame attempts to coolly lure a boy] like a goddamn nutterbutter.
lindsey (name changed to protect the innocent): a butternutter!
haha! i didn't say butternutter at all! what a card.

and lindsey once again, attempting to explain that she'd like to dress up as an idiom for halloween (how droll!):
lindsey: well. i kept thinking i was gonna be some kind of idiot.
oh ho ho! smells like someone's got some latent self-image issues.

and what about the time, following up on her own suggestion that i look into procuring these little numbers - if for nothing else than for the opportunity to "meet new people easily and start wonderful conversations" - ab crapped this crap on my wall and called it a comment:
Yes, and to dress up for Halloween as the medium those people you will meet will talk to you about being awesome on. That sentence never had a chance, btw.
that sentence doesn't mean anything, ab! i am putting your language on notice!

and a nomination coming in for lindsey's good dear brooklyn pal whitney, who covers this corner over here:
whitney: recently, i signed off my name as Shitney.
lindsey:  on purpose.
right?  yes.
whitney:  no by mistake.

what kind of name is shitney? that's no kind of name but a dirty word is what!that ol' qwerty set-up. it'll get you not every time, but sometimes, and when it does, it's reasonably funny.

i'll leave a few more in the comments and you should, too. we revel in our own inanity and misfires with unabashed aplomb 'round these parts, kids.

keeps us humble.
keeps us laughing.


Megan said...

i have no gchat submissions (i'm gperfect)(i am not gperfect) but i would like to bring up the eggcorn database, because it's awesome and pertinent to this post:

Anonymous said...

a gem:

"and look! there he is again! just sploogin all over my facebook wall instead of my face!

god i wish i didn't just say that."