Monday, November 30, 2009

in the interest of honesty

(although i do wonder if honesty gives nearly the damn about me that i give about it)

november was, by some science, a failure.

i sacrificed almost nothing, saw the sun rise twice, suffered numerous headaches of unwholesome origins, ate nearly zero spinach whatsoever and there was even an incident that combined tacos not only with beer but with mayonnaise and hours of overindulgence.

i apologize for nothing.

in the gorgeous tradition of the months dating back to july before it, november had something of a charm and a warmth and a welcome to it. it is extremely possible that i'm a fool and a lunatic, but i am almost certain this collision of pretty little worlds and exquisite brains and excellent faces was real.

i am almost certain it's real.

p.s. i ate a fuckton of cheese and did all the making out. [homeschool high five!]

Thursday, November 26, 2009


it ought to come as no surprise.

i came to chicago because i was naive, i'd say audaciously hopeful.
i stayed for the uncertainty.

i remain now because i find myself naming friends family, calling them home.

my heart is full and i am grateful.

i want you to feel this, too.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

BME: shut up and feel something lovely edition

nothing clever to remark. just some pretty sounding things to listen to when it's enough to just be exactly where you are and know everything is as it ought to be.

the acorn - crooked legs
broken social scene - guilty cubicles
horse feathers - helen
camera obscura - lunar sea
alela diane - to be still
phosphorescent - wolves
sufjan stevens - lakes of canada*
rachel's - water from the same source**
hooverphonic - magenta

*my biggest problem on this little sunday was deciding whether or not to save this track for the "best covers in my whole stupid music library" mix i've been thinking bout . i thought no, now. now. now.

**apologies in advance. this is a heartfuck of an arrangement. i love it so.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

it's business time

while hanging around a Barnes and Nobles in Skokie, IL for a few (four) hours on thursday night, I stumbled on a real gem of a genre. it's not totally true that these books were new to me, but I found myself pleasantly surprised by the "succeed in business" department.

and although my career has taken place wholly in the not-for-profit education sector, save for my college stint as a part-time floating bank teller, I have a feeling that the pearls of wisdom hidden within these book covers would translate to any professional or social milieu.

and so, a laundry list of recommended reading. asterisks indicate availability for your kindle.

*1. Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time
Keith Farazzi's 2005 book posits that if one networks one's ass off at all times, all of one's dreams will come true. He bases this theory on his own life success, coming up from a rural Pennsylvania town through the Harvard B School and eventually earning a partnership at Deloitte (although I think we're all aware that of the Big 4, D&T is not really the bee's knees).

*2. Hope is Not a Strategy: The Six Keys to Winning a Complex Sale
As one of the reviewers points out, "no longer is being 'a good closer' the basis of sustainable success." I would like to note here that our corporate strategy, because of this book, is under immediate review as the LLC has indeed been resting on the laurels of the three closers who run the company.

3. Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman: What Men Know About Success that Women Need to Learn
In the first page of her book, Gail Evans indicates that while women may be happy with "feeling good" about what they do, men are focused on winning. She spends the other 190 pages teaching readers how to reframe everyday work situations as competitions and guides women in the implementation of a scorekeeping system so that the ladies can once and for all disprove this silly "glass ceiling" myth.

*4. Negotiate to Win: The 21 Rules for Successful Negotiating
Jim Thomas figures out what's been missing in America for years: successful negotiating skills. But he finds that Japanese businesspeople have negotiating down to an art, and lets his readers in on the tips and tricks necessary for a winning negotiation. Key to this equation is the win-win perspective that allows your counterpart to save face while you get what you want.

*5. Secrets to Winning at Office Politics: How to Achieve Your Goals and Increase Your Influence at Work
Marie McIntyre, PhD provides examples of office winners and losers as she teaches readers how to develop a Political Game Plan. Effective boss management and skillful disarmament of emotional adversaries allow the office politician to always get what he or she wants.

Monday, November 16, 2009

shared. sharing.

I Am In the Air Right Now from Greg Lytle on Vimeo.

november has a mood about it, no? i am sure i'm not alone in this. i would never want to be alone in this.

i think i'd prefer i write like this but i suppose she's already gone and done it so well. what's left for me to do? november'll help me figure it out. i am sure i'm not alone in this.

Friday, November 13, 2009


where i always felt the smallest. and the safest.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

on a slope. slipping.

naombor assures me it's in my best interest to develop a caffeine addiction. i think it'll go nicely with the cigarettes and tactile fixation.

here's a song i hope you enjoy.

the cribs - men's needs (css clusterfuck)

Monday, November 9, 2009

parting shots

i only wish i'd several more doors, or at least one extremely impressive one:
Who wants to be consistent? The dullard and the doctrinaire, the tedious people who carry out their principles to the bitter end of action, to the reductio ad absurdum of practice. Not I. Like Emerson, I write over the door of my library the word "Whim."

get on with it, wilde. 

updates from the moratorium

i suck at sabbatical.

as yet untitled

in my (re)imagination, i had little to say and perhaps i relied on my hands too much.
i may have said too much. i always say too much.

i could only stare at that space between us as it grew and grew and grew.

he was angry and i understood.

strange, because i think of anger and i cannot quite accept it.
it seems to me a selfishness and a willing futility.
anger cares for no end and exhausts even itself.
i've no stomach for self-immolation.
i sense anger and i turn away.

but he was angry and i understood and with little to say, i stayed.
no one asks two people to make sense.
no one should ask two people to make sense.

it was midnight maybe and quiet because it was early.
we should have been anywhere else, this should have been years ago.
i was desperate to know how many minutes existed between his face and mine and it occurred to me - while i should have not been realizing, but maybe just for once just listening instead of trying to convert inches and wordlessness into minutes - that this was the collapse of our geography.
this would be the last of it: the buskers and the hippies and hustlers in the plaza that night at midnight in the middle of our walk with his anger and my idiot tongue for all the words i thought i knew and the branches of dead trees grasping onto that corner of the world for me and i stared anywhere else and heard the measure of my own breath finally settle over what laid long since broken there between us, aware quite suddenly of where i was and why and how, where else could it have been?

it was, of course, in the end and always, a week i made for keeping.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

wanna joke?

I love jokes. I love them so much. I love good jokes, but I also love bad jokes. I do not discriminate against jokes for their quality. 

At work, one of my more dignified responsibilities involves checking messages that come in through a form on the company website. As a bona fide technology idiot, I get a lot of spam through this form and do nothing about it. I don't even call up the IT department to ask them to fix it. 

Why? Because the spam that I get is mostly lame and all about celebrity sex tapes and weight-loss pills, but some of it is a comedic gold mine. For whatever reason, cialis spammers send me jokes. Awesome jokes. 

For your amusement: 

  • Good joke :)   Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
  • A joke for you peoples!   What kind of necktie does a pig wear? A pigsty.
  • Do you want a fresh joke from net?   What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
  • I have a nice joke for you people! Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He doesn't believe in dogs.  
  • Wanna joke?)   Where does a bird go when it loses its tail? The retail store.
  • Do you want a fresh joke from net?   Why does a turtle live in a shell? Because it can't afford an apartment.
  • I have a nice fresh joke for you people)   Which side of a dog has the most hair? The out side.
  • I have a nice joke for you)   What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
  • Oh, good joke)   Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The survivors were marooned.
  • I have a nice joke.   What do you get if you cross a giant and a vampire? A BIG pain in the neck! 
  • Fresh joke!   What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than "A" bra. 

Feel free to share these with friends, co-workers, loved ones. In my experience, they will laugh their pants off and then disparagingly ask you if you're in first grade. 

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

a moment's notice

wild work grows over humans real moss
                                                              ~ from conforming to the fashions of eternity
                                                                  donald revell, whose name is perfect

feeling mossy.*

*some might say mucous-y. potato, tomato.

Sunday, November 1, 2009


october was such a pretty thing that started with a mama and ended with a blissful buzzed and buzzing. we loved october well and now there is november, an extra hour, and what hopes.

november has such promise.

the plan here includes the self-imposed moratorium i've been muttering about for a few weeks now, wherein i tone down the midweek and even weekend (!) funtimes in favor of sleep, hydration, life enrichment activities, and increased essential vitamin intake, with special occasional breaks; birthdays, say. or tacos. which necessitate beer. (science.)

like every last one of us here, i ought to write more and with far greater and more consistent dedication.
like every last one of us here, i ought to get more sleep and cut it the fuck out with this budding and dangerous love affair with coffee.

in addition:
read more books.
submit. for the fuck of shit, i have yet to even try. submit. (suggestions welcome. wholly welcome.)
eat leafy greens, more leafy greens, and fruit every day.
less cheese, probably. the bacon stays.
take the bike out every last remaining and amenable day.
revisit closet solutions.
push-ups for chrissakes.
call home twice a week.
purge itunes of garbage. the crap, not the band.
tackle sewing projects.
make out way more.
reconsider use of leggings as pants.
haha! jk.
finish the wind up bird chronicle. on principle. do not groan.
give up on bubble shooter. it's a terrible game.
smoke slightly less.
deep condition weekly.
quit making that face.
take oliver on longer walks.
make cc fritattas.
demonstrate love and patience daily.
and again, write some fucking poetry.

november has such promise.