Sunday, January 3, 2010

and overrated

*again, courtesy of davis. note that the views expressed below are not necessarily endorsed by the LLC (e.g., oliver is a fan of sufjan stevens and will probably never like davis again).


Lists and assholes, continued

January 2010

This is a list of 7 things that aren’t very good but ended up on a bunch of lists anyway. I don’t know why people like these bands or the albums they make. Mostly they are terrible. I have not listed all of the things that suck because in attempt to reshape my myopic worldview I have decided to only write or speak about things that I like – it’s going pretty well so I wouldn’t want to interrupt that by dwelling on the banality Kanye West or by providing 500 words detailing why Coldplay’s A Rush of Blood to the Head is actually better than Illinois. Nonetheless, I felt compelled to remind the Internet of my generally negative outlook on these artists.

Outkast

If I may borrow some text from a review of Spinal Tap’s Intravenous Demilo: “The musical growth rate of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."

“Hey Ya!” and “B.O.B.” are the clear exceptions to this review. Both of these songs are awesome.

Vampire Weekend

I mean, it’s fine. I guess. I don’t know. This album shows some promise but it is inconsistent at best. I want this band to put out a great album but remain skeptical.

Sufjan Stevens

Whatever.

Animal Collective

It was once a shitty noise rock band; somehow by writing songs it got worse.

Grizzly Bear

Who really cares about these guys? Seriously. Boring. Here’s a tip for aspiring bands: reverb doesn’t make you interesting.

Of Montreal

If I were to make a list of which bands could be the zaniest and most inconsistent, this band would be on it. Because it is those things: zany and inconsistent.

Rufus Wainwright

I thought there could be nothing more saccharine than Mandy Moore’s cover of “Drop the Pilot” but I was wrong. Wainwright’s cover of Jeff Buckley’s cover of “Hallelujah” is the Coldplay of covers.

1 comment:

klooky said...

oh ima retort you hard on the sufjan/grizzly front.

on all other points, correct sir.