fear is usually irrational.
I had, for the first time ever last week, the fabulous experience of being utterly terrified of something reasonable. well, it was in a dream. but it still counts.
this is what happened:
1. I fell asleep.
2. I had a normal nightmare about bad guys running after me. maybe there was some coolio playing in the background. who can tell?
3. I woke up and thought, nuts! a nightmare. I don't want to go back to sleep now.
4. I fell asleep.
5. I had a nightmare that I was very prepared to enter into a business deal with a reputable gentleman, and then found out that he was actually involved in a lot of uncomfortable deals in higher education. lots of conflicts of interest in his c.v.
6. I woke up, panicking, sweating, worse than (3) by far.
7. I realized that somehow, some of my reason wins some of the time.
am I sorry? perhaps. deal with this.
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