here's the plan, beauregard

when i become real life famous and very wealthy with macarthur genius grant dollars, you can bet your ass i'll fund your shits and giggles, too serious.

in the meantime, just take my excellent advice.

hither: manly slang from the 19th century

and then:

                   B: i need to memorize these colloquialisms from the 1800s

 me: i think the trick is to first write them down in a sentence. and then hurl the sentences at the first lout who crosses you. and then blog about how you totally wordshanked that boner with your scathing anachronisms. and then you will a) memorize effectively and b) become INTERNET FAMOUS.

 B: holy shit

could you become my mentor, or at least benefactor?

 me: when i win my genius grant, benefactress for realz.

  WHY THE FUCK WON'T JIMMY JOHNS DOT COM LOAD WITH MY SANDWICH WISHES.

finally: please send sandwiches, attn: my mouth. the internets are defying me.