Wednesday, June 16, 2010

bFffs, dammit

lisa, the yard duty we could all agree was the "coolest" (in as much as our 10 year old brains understood cool as a characteristic and yard duties as preordained villains), used to put one hand on each of our shoulders and croon mccartney's and stevie's "ebony and ivory." i, of course, cared as little then as i do now about paul mccartney's post-beatles career, but even still, the gesture always left us giggling.

i understood the "ebony" part; my childhood best friend's name was ebony. i did, however, find it both amusing and perturbing that i was by default assigned "ivory," since even at 10 years old the bitchier girls on the yard would point out, with no mistake in tone, what they called my "permatan," knowing even then that the vaguely ethnic looking friend would always be an easy outlet for their budding and subtle cruelties.

but i appreciated that lisa, as distant and adult as she was, could easily discern that ebony and i were best friends. we played sports together, shared clothes and secrets and crushes on a tall, half-black all-beautiful boy named alonzo, slept over at one another's houses every weekend, cried together, fell ill together, quietly and naively rebelled together. even our mothers were close, often splitting pitchers of margaritas on the patio of the only half-decent mexican-ish restaurant to be found in a white-washed, conservative suburban fever dream 33 miles north of los angeles in 1993. if it was some nascent brand of implicit solidarity communicated by our yet unrealized otherness that brought us together, i didn't know and i probably wouldn't have given a shit.

ebony was my best friend, plain and simple; from my first AYSO team to my first period to my first kiss, she was there. seriously, she was hiding around the corner shrieking when brandon stuart stuck his tongue in my mouth while i convulsed uncontrollably with laughter behind miss allman's portable. i loved her.

i have not seen her in years, though we occasionally send brief, but loving messages across the internet. she is beautiful and successful and fiery as hell. she made me cry so many times. she knew me before i had breasts. her place in my heart and history remains paramount.

which is why i think this is bullshit.

via nyt, stupidest place on the internet.

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