Tuesday, July 6, 2010

is that all there is?

we were a hispanic flautist, a darling goth, a secret millionaire, a former bible salesman, The Worst, and an alcoholic with several advanced degrees in esoteric physics, sharing a house. the last of these slept - or rather passed some time -in the room directly below mine. 

for a month in 2006, i quite suddenly became intensely fascinated by and even a touch fixated on black matter and the shapes and shaping of the universe. i spent a lot of time thinking about gravity and staring out of windows. i wrote bad poetry and frequently used the term "negative space." i contemplated string theory as metaphor and talked to men about god. 

it was a stupid month. 

toward the end of it, i discovered via CocktailConversation with the brilliant soak that he'd been in the midst of an insidious bout of insomnia for weeks and spent many of his 3ams - 7ams with a bottle of heaven's hill and "a brief history of time" on tape, played on a half-broken boombox whose volume was stuck somewhere between "soft enough to avoid pissing off roommates" and "loud enough to be heard through my floorboards." i laughed wildly and felt immediately sane. explained to him i must have been hearing his book in my sleep. felt the reason and sufferability seep back into my bones. he pulled from his afternoon spliff and muttered, "i think i'm losing my mind." 

i wonder what happened to that guy.

here is a photograph of the whole damn universe taken from a million miles into space, a measurement i don't know how to understand. 



 
via esa and a shitload of euros. 


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